Now I'd already seen the pic, she had texted it to me. And it had been on Facebook after that run so it was saved forever in the "Photos of You" tab on FB. So it wasn't new to me. I actually thought it was a good picture of me and still do. It was somewhere in the middle of my weight loss. I had a dress on that was probably not the most flattering, but cute! So I guess I didn't understand why this was a valid before pic.
But what was new to me was the feelings I had about the picture being show at the table. I was mortified. Honestly, I wouldn't even look at the picture because I was so embarrassed. If you know me, you know I do NOT like having attention drawn towards me. I've always been like that. Today was no exception.
I felt my face get hot as I tried to laugh it off, but I was going through emotions left and right that shocked me. Why was I going through all of these feelings over a picture??
Now, the reason my friend showed the picture was not to embarass me or anything like that. It was because she was proud of me, she was impressed by my hard work and dedication. She thought I was awesome!
But I didn't feel any of those things when I saw the picture. That's because it was me that went through the all the changing. Beginning to end, I lived it. But sometimes I still see that girl in the mirror, so I almost took it too personal. I focused on the wrong part of the conversation and missed the praise that I was getting for working my butt off this year.
So i wonder, is this normal after losing a significant amount of weight? I don't know. I've never been in this space before. My head hasn't quite caught up with what people see when they look at me. Or what I see when I look at myself. But it will eventually. I hope! This is a pic my son took of me today.